A men’s group is a group of men, sitting in a circle, hanging out and getting real.
We laugh, listen and grow together, dropping the facade as we share our experiences, thoughts and feelings. We respectfully challenge one another to be better, more authentic men, without telling each other what to do or how to be. There is no pressure and it’s fine to say “Pass” when it’s your turn to speak.
We are accepting, accountable and we want more out of life. We acknowledge who we’ve been and we test drive who we want to be, taking the best of ourselves out into the world.
We run open drop-in men’s circles – in London and online – as well as closed groups, which are the same men sitting together once a month for six months. Contact me to find out if there are any spaces in a closed group or join our next open group on Meetup.com
Download our leaflet for everything you need to start your own men’s group
People use my MenSpeak men’s groups structure as a therapeutic tool, a conversation starter, a drinking game and everything in-between. Simply amend it to suit your own needs and support the men in your community to “MAN UP…and talk about it!”
Want to know the thinking behind the questions in the Check-in Round?
Sixteen years ago, I returned to the UK after a long period of travelling to find that my best friends had got into their drink, drug, work, love and sex addictions, leaving us with little connection and intimacy in our relationships.
So I got over a dozen of them together and told them that either we meet at some depth, or basically, you’re chucked! I made it up as we went along and it was great fun, with amazing results.
More and more men got to hear about our men’s group, and saw the positive effects it was having on their friends’ lives, so I decided to take it out of my home and into a public space, sharing it with the world at large.
This full day workshop is for men and women who’d like tools to communicate with men and/or facilitate their own men’s groups, professionally or in their own communities.
Attended by therapists, coaches, corporate leaders, care workers, workshop leaders, Joe and Joan Blogs, this interactive day will give you simple tools, techniques and tips on how to bring the best out of men, listen, enable and empower, whilst leaving space for you to facilitate your own groups, in your own communities, your own way.
With behind-the-scenes insights drawn from our interactions together, you will learn to gently draw forth deeper discussions and respectfully respond from your centre, without judgement or influence. You will learn about group dynamics, body language and masculine psychology in a self-aware, transparent, non-hierarchical space of conscious conversations. We’ll get grounded with the nitty gritty details of time-keeping, setting up the room, holding the space, personal and professional boundaries, insurance, logistics, marketing, financials, etc.
Participants will receive a certificate and access to a deeper level of online resources. Further MenFacilitate trainings will be available at half the advertised rate for further practice and a greater depth of experience and learning.
We take it out of the room and into nature, adventure, making a noise and having a laugh!
With exclusive use of a fully functional farm in Essex, we spend time in nature and hang out around the fire together. With minimal management and space for all to step-up or chill out, the magic happens as we cook, eat, walk, talk, take individual space and enjoy quality depth and big belly laughs together over a long weekend.
Our first trip to Morocco was self-organised by the 4th Thursday closed group men. A few months later we did another and included new men, further adventures and more check-in as we experienced Morocco way out of our comfort zones. We learned about ourselves, our relationships, our fears and fantasies and grew into a new life beyond them.
We check-in with what we need to get out of our systems, the swallowed and unexpressed. We agree on ground rules and self-care, then we go into the soundproofed room and shout, scream and yell it all out of us until we feel done. Then we check-in again to debrief and make sure we are all safe and grounded enough to go back out into our worlds.
We generally laugh a lot in the MenSpeak men’s groups. We appreciate that thinking, fixing and working things out is not where it’s at, so we organise regular trips to a comedy cafe where we can kick back, let it all hang out and laugh ourselves stupid. Laughter is the best medicine and it can shift blocked, stuck energy like a good enema!
This year we celebrated International Men’s Day out in nature around the fire, getting grounded and honouring the men that we are, the men who have influenced us and the men that we are growing into being. It’s certainly not all doom and gloom, or trouble and strife – as a community we are good at having fun together and back-patting when it’s true.
Some were challenged by the naked life models, others by their fears of putting charcoal to paper and making something of it. Andy put us through our paces with dynamic exercises that freed us up in our lives beyond what we thought and into the intimacy of what we saw, felt, our relationship to it all and the courage to let rip and get unashamedly expressive.
We sit in a circle and talk in the MenSpeak men’s groups, where movement and motion need to be in the mix as well. Aaron ran Tai Chi / Qi Gong classes, where we checked in in the beginning with who and how we are, got into our physical bodies between heaven and earth, then checked out at the end with how we are feeling, embodied and on the ground.
Our yoga home was the famous Hale Clinic, gently lead by Stefan as we stretched back into our bodies, moving into our limits and comfortably breathing beyond what we thought possible. We always begin with the usual MenSpeak check-in and two minutes silence and we check out feeling quite different than before, though time tended to stand still.